Nasser's Blog About Stuff

Thoughts of a child from nowhere

As blood sheds and martyrs
Fall the brawl gets harder
A child with no mother
I have died inside
My pride declined
My mind hides the truth
Tears have dried
So my cries are like my laughter
I keep thinking of the hereafter
Tell myself it’s near a few more days and i’ll meet the crafter
They tell us life’s a gift, I feel like Ive been robbed off
A child with nothing to live, for but to be stomped on
Where is my fair share
When I don’t dare look at the sky
Or breath fresh air
Coz I’m aware
That I cant bare to see the bullet that will tear 
My flesh even though I hope it comes
Because I’m starving in the slums
And I’ll die anyway but I don’t mind 
I hear grownups always say
Its a better life
Lost my mom at a young age
War got hard so we starved for days so my dad went away
To find us food he promised he will come back
But how’s a promise gonna be honest when we dont know how long a life we have
He looked at me said son make me proud
If they come don’t you cry don’t you shout
Frown at their faces
No common ground
Gave me a gun said never shoot
unless they aim
and they’re bound to
protect your sister and your gran
I know you don’t really understand me
But from now on your the man
of the house
Hold Salat everyday keep going to the mosque
Coz Allah will see you pray and will increase your good deeds alot
I did as he said, got a job making bread
I was young but  always knew my parents were both dead
My life’s a drama so they said I dodge bullets so they dont hit my head

But whats the point i guess its just an old reflex 

Coz i know what my lifes worth
a bomb or raid or bullet or a mine hiding in the earth
and when I die like my family no one will remember me
I’ll probably be a number no one will ever acknowledge me
I wonder sometimes
How the children grow up in other places
How they have running water
And what puts a smiles on their faces
How they play, whats a mother like
Does she care when her childs in pain
They say no one knows you better then your mom
I like to think she looks down at me from heaven when she can
I wonder what its like to have friends and go to school
Have a pet maybe a backyard and a pool
Now look at me imagination’s making me a fool
My dreams take me places as I walk back home
And at the back of my head I’m ready to see a pile of stones
Where my house was my sis and gran blown to dust to fly of with the wind

i cant help it but that tear trickles and falls down of my chin
But to be honest it might be better for everyone
We eat left over bread but we’re thankful for every crumb
I wonder what it feels like to not want to eat
To have energy to work, not to feel that pain in my belly before i fall asleep

It hurts me to acknowledge the black thoughts I have at night
Suffocate my sis and gran and hang myself beside the light
They say there’s 300 million Arabs in the Middle East and north Africa
I don’t know a lot of maths but I think if half of them came they could end all the massacres
A sheikh in the mosque once said that human beings are all brothers
But my siblings died because they stood firm with one another
So how are those that never moved and never proved to care
My brothers in humanity or deen when they leave us to die in despair
I ask myself who am I where am I why am I who I am
I find no answers I’m a lost soul that’s damned
No one knows my name I cant even remember it
We all look the same an uncanny resemblance
Those that come from abroad call me Ebnel Balad
My gran calls me habibe my boss calls me ya walad
Omar Muhammad Ali what difference does it make?
They wont ask for my Id when they come to take
my life and you know what I wont ask them for mercy

Because how ever it goes that will always be the ending to my story

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